"When We Turn Our Hearts to Our Ancestors, Something Changes Inside Us"

In our church, each member is assigned a "calling" or a job. We don't get paid financially for the work we do, but we are rewarded spiritually. My church calling is to help others learn about the how's and why's of doing family history/genealogy.  

Even though the Prophet Joseph Smith declared: "The greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead" I personally didn't have an interest in genealogy until a few years ago. My thought was that it was something the "old folks" did. My grandmother, who we called "nana," was one of 13 children. Fortunately, one of her siblings took it upon themselves to research their genealogy and put together books for each family. I've read mine a few times, sitting comfortable with the knowledge that my work had been done. I honestly couldn't have been further from the truth. Just because I had a book with some names and dates did NOT mean my job was done. I was the only LDS member of the family that I knew of so temple work had not yet even been started on their behalf. Our church is not just interested in the dates our ancestors were born, married, deceased, and such. We are covenanted to do family history work so we can learn about our ancestors and grow closer to them. By learning who they are and the journey that they each traveled, we come to know ourselves and some of our own personal traits even better. For this reason, I don't refer to this work as genealogy, but as family history. We are all made up of dots and dashes. Dots are the dates that define our history and the dashes are the stories that defined US. 

Joseph Smith also taught that we must search out our ancestors and provide for them the saving ordinances of the gospel. "They without us should not be made perfect" (Hebrews 11:40) and "neither can we without our dead be made perfect" (D&C 128:15). Though I have read this many times, it wasn't until recently that I truly understood the meaning. 

When our 16 year old daughter, Amanda, passed away on July 11, 2012 we made the decision to donate her arm and leg bones, as well as other tissues. While on the phone with One Legacy, the organ donation group, I felt a slight test of my faith. I ran out to my husband and asked him if he was truly sure about our bodies being restored to their most perfect form. He said quite confidently that he was sure. I walked away thinking, "Man... if he is wrong she is going to be really mad at us for giving away her arm and leg bones!" It was a year before we could go and do Amanda's temple work. Even though we received updates from One Legacy letting us know how many lives Amanda had saved with the gift of organ donation, there was still a little spot in the back of my mind that wondered if I made the right choice. Finally, the day came to go through the temple to help Amanda complete her own work. As I stood in line to receive the initiatory blessings on her behalf, I could feel her spirit grow closer to me and stronger. There is a part of the blessing that says, "You will walk and not be weary, run and not be faint". It was at that moment when I saw a vision of Amanda dancing before me saying,"See mom, we did it. I'm fine". I felt like I was able to let out a long breath that I had been holding inside for a year. How grateful I was for that confirmation. Remembering this moment last night made the quote from Joseph Smith come alive. What he was saying is that " she... Amanda... without me (or someone here on earth to do the physical work her spirit could no)... would not be made perfect. And I... without having performed those ordinances for her would not have been given the relief my mind so desperately needed. 

Russell M. Nelson said, "When our hearts turn to our ancestors, something changes inside us." I have a personal testimony that this statement is true. For almost four years, I hadn't spoken to my mom and step-dad. There was always so much drama with my younger sister, that it was easier to just stay disconnected from them. Even though there was the genealogy book from my grandmothers sister, there were still some missing pieces to the puzzle and the only one who could help piece it together, was my mom. So I called my mom one day and asked her questions about her dad. The reason I couldn't find him in any papers was because the name I knew him by was not the name he went by legally. In fact, when he was 17 he wanted to sign up for the military to fight in WWWI, but since he wasn't old enough, he registered under his uncles name and used that for the rest of his life. Grandpa Bob, went by Claude Thomas Cooper. He was a driver for General Patton before he became a general, owned two gas stations, and was an iron worker on the golden state bridge. All of this information would have been lost without my asking my mother because she was the last of their family to pass it on. He was no longer just a dash on my family history chart. He had a story, a face, a name, and a dash. 

"Herein is the chain that binds the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, which fulfills the mission of Elijah." My desire to learn more about my family brought me back to my mother. Our relationship is different, but better than it was. I learned that we both changed over the years and that's okay. 

One of the questions I deal with a lot in the Family History Class I teach is "What about the relatives we don't like?" The first time I heard this I had to ask the person to clarify. She said "he was a mean old man and I don't think God would approve of him." My answer is always the same. We are commanded to do the work, not to judge who should receive it. That person may choose to accept the gospel on the other side and become a changed person. They may not. Our job is simply to prepare their names, learn their stories, and help their temple work get done. God will handle the rest. 

Another comment I get is that the person isn't computer savvy. So what! We all have a role to play in family history work. If you aren't a computer wizard, be the one that gathers the stories. Have the young children who like to ask questions, ask those questions of their relatives and you write them down. For those of you that like to take pictures of everything, shoot away, but don't be stingy, load those pictures into Family Search or Ancestry.com. Youth and young adults, you are all such great textures! Why not put those fingers to work by asking a relative a daily question and adding it to a family journal?

I promise you that as you draw close to your family through learning about the paths they walked, your heart will grow full of love for them and bring you even closer to your father in heaven. 

Dear Chosen One

Dear Chosen One,

Yes. I am talking to you.

Why are you so surprised to hear you are chosen? Remember that The Lord knows each of us by name. He knows our wants, our fears, our joys, and our sorrows. He knows even when we can't find the words to lift up in prayer to Him. He is listening to your heart which speaks directly to His. You have been chosen to do great things. Things that you may consider ordinary and normal, like being kind and loving to others, are great in the eyes of The Lord. You have a light that shines so bright it is a beacon of hope to those whose worlds are dim. Do not let it burn out or dull. Feed the light through scripture reading, prayer, and doing good unto others. Walk upright as a chosen child of God should. Do not be discouraged. Do not grow weary of doing good. Life is hard and overwhelming sometimes, but you can find joy in the journey. Joy in a memory or a smile or the rain or sunshine. Look for the blessings in your life... count them one by one. There are many great things in store for you. If you find yourself struggling, I hope you will remember how special you are and that The Lord has plans for you greater than you can see.

I'd like to re-share with you a dream i had a couple months after Amanda passed away. It started off a little strange and irritating. I remember there was an odor coming from the side of our house. When I went to the side of the house, I found a doorway that led to a very long hallway that was connected to our house. Down that hallway were little pee puddles and near the end of that long hall was Spike, Amanda's chihuahua, lifting his leg on the wall, leaving a trail that led me straight to a room. When I opened the door to the room, Spike ran happily inside. Inside the room was a bed like Amanda's and a big white fluffy down comforter just like she had. I was looking around the room and then looked at the bed when I saw the comforter move. Amanda was under the covers. She looked out at me and smiled and said "Hi mama". I looked down at her and said "Hi sweetie. I've missed you. What are you doing in this room?" She climbed out from under the fluffy comforter and said, "I'm helping some other kids cross to the other side. See... here comes one now." Then a little child appeared and she went to the wall, which appeared very thin, like a white sheet, and she led the child through the wall saying "It's okay... go to Him." Then she climbed back under the comforter and pulled it up to her chin and said, "I love you mama." I said "I love you too baby", then I walked out of the room to find a Swiffer to clean up the pee puddles leaving Amanda to do her job.

Figures... I would finally have a dream with Amanda in it and all I can think about is cleaning up the pee puddles! I thought about that dream a lot though and find great peace in it. It assured me that she is okay. She still loves and knows us and that she is doing her job to help others cross the veil to be with their Heavenly Father. It tells me that the veil is thin and she is still very close to us... as close as crossing over a hallway to another room. It also reminded me that following Spike was like following the spirit. if you are willing to listen and follow the spirit's promptings, good things will await you.

One day I was sitting at church listening to the primary get up and talk about choosing the right. I swear to you Amanda's voice was screaming in my ears "I'm so sorry. I made ONE bad choice and I lost it all. I'm so sorry mom". What happened to Amanda that dreadful afternoon she left us was that in a split second a choice was made. The consequence of that choice were unintended and permanent. You are not super human. These vessels we call bodies are very fragile. You must protect them and keep them clean. You don't ever want to be that voice screaming down "I'm sorry". Remember these three simple words. Choose The Right. Carry them throughout everyday of your existence, when confronted with the pressures of of mortal life, repeat them or ask yourself "what would Jesus want me to do? " Be a friend to everyone, defend those that cannot defend themselves. Be kind. Find a way to make someone else smile. CTR.

Take the Choose the Right pledge

I pledge to...

Be kind and forgiving
Never bully or be cruel to others
Speak out for those who can’t
Share sincere compliments, hugs, and smiles
Reach out to someone when I feel lost or alone
Remember I am loved beyond measure
Think about the consequences of my actions
Make smart choices
Live wisely
Always Choose the Right

Remember that YOU are chosen. You are loved beyond measure.

Live wisely and always choose the right.

Kristen Andrews
https://www.facebook.com/AKAChooseTheRight

Green Blades of Grass

I lay here on this solid ground

In the spot you were laid to rest

Your body lies underneath me

But your soul lives in my chest

I place my hand upon the earth

Green blades run between my fingers

I try to clear my mind of thoughts

But the memory of you lingers

Flowers left beside your grave

Tell me others think of you too

We all know deep inside our hearts

This place is not where we will find you

Those places where we laughed together

Before you went away

Those are the places we will find you

Those are where your memory stays

And when we need to know you're near

A breeze will brush our cheek

Kisses from the heavens

For the words we can not speak

A hummingbird will share its joy

A star will shine brightly from above

A strangers smile will catch our eyes

And fill our hearts will love

God will send us subtle signs

To comfort us throughout our day

We must learn to find the beauty

In each gift He sends our way

Time can not separate us

Nor can this earth keep us apart

Green blades of grass between my fingers

Your life's song plays in my heart

For my daughter Amanda Kellie Andrews

Six Months...

It's hard to believe I have made it through 6 months without holding your little skinny body. Or having you purposely grind your bony butt in my lap after I scratched your back for a while. It's strange not smelling nail polish and nail polish remover every single day as I pass by your old room or the kitchen counter. Lauren just bought 25 new nail polish colors so I think she going to try and bring that Mandy smell back :) it's weird getting ready in the morning and not fighting over rug and mirror space with you. Lauren tries to hog the space, but eventually her nice side kicks in and she scoots over. I swear I can still hear your heavy footsteps pounding the floor of the hall. How could someone so tiny sound like freaking Bigfoot? 

If you were physically here with us I think you would like helping with your Amanda Panda Choose The Right foundation. It gets pretty tiring cutting pledge cards and wrapping wristbands, but it is also very rewarding. You would know just the right things to say to kids who leave us messages about how they are struggling. When I respond to them I never really feel like its me responding, but your voice through me. So thank you for staying with me and helping me out. 

I have to be honest and say when I had my surgery last month I was a little disappointed that nothing went wrong. If I could have just left this world for one short moment so I could see your face again and hold you in my arms, if even for a minute, it would have been all I needed. But no... I had an amazing surgeon and everything went perfectly well!

Shopping hasn't been any fun for me since you left us. I miss playing phone tag in the mall with you and your friends and hearing you tell them to stay close to me or I would be out of your sight within seconds making you try and find me by calling my phone to hear my ringtone. Now i just wander around aimlessly for a while and usually leave without buying a thing.  All I see and think is "that would look good on Amanda" and I want to buy it for you as a surprise because you loved surprises and they always made you smile and you would reward me with a big hug. 

Wow... Writing the word hug just made my eyes start to pour. I can't begin to tell you how much I miss our daily hugs. How you and Lauren would make a sandwich out of me in a hug and you would finish by grabbing my butt and Lauren would grab my chechees. I miss those silly poems you and Breanna would write back and forth and how you would spam her with a 100 text messages in one hour just because you were bored. I miss seeing the three of you hanging out in the kitchen or having girl talks in one of your rooms. I miss hearing your dad say " I bet I know what will make her smile!" when you were having a bad day and it didn't matter how grumpy you were, you would always grin from ear to ear when he pulled out his wallet and gave you a twenty. You were so stubborn too. Remember when your dad said something like "Amanda don't be stupid" so you didn't talk to him for two whole weeks until he apologized (and gave you a twenty).

I'm so glad you liked taking pictures of yourself because we have so many beautiful photos to look at now. My favorites are when your friends share some random picture or video we haven't seen before. Especially if you are talking  in it because I miss the sound of your voice so much. Nothing replaces the most beautiful image of you live and in person though. That's the one I really need. Sometimes I just close my eyes and picture you coming to lay on me or next to me to cuddle. I can feel the weight of your little body and the heat from your skin as you sink in next to me. I lay there and smell the scent from your freshly washed hair. It's wet against my skin, but I just gently move it to the side a little. Those are the memories I want to remember. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the memories of your angel day and my mind wants to replay every moment, every phone call, every hug, tear shed, and every last image. Then I try and drown out those thoughts with a sweet smile of yours instead or I have a good cry in my car or my office with my door closed, or at home in the bathtub/shower where the tears can run into the water. I just let it out and then I take a deep breath (and sometimes an anxiety pill). I quiet the voices in my head and listen gently for the one voice that will bring me comfort. The Lord has been good to me Amanda. He has wrapped His loving arms around me and allowed your arms to continue to circle me too so that I can have the strength to face each day without you physically here. We always said that you were the glue that bonded us together and now you are the glue that holds us together because we all want to be the best versions of ourselves for you. We have grown closer as a family and you are to thank for that. I know you are still with us. I feel you with us all the time. When your friends hang out at the house, I think they feel you there too.

We had such a great time celebrating your 17th birthday by singing you happy birthday at the cemetery with a large group of your friends and some adorable panda bear cupcakes that we made,  then we brought them back to the house for taco night two.

We made everyone come to our house this year for Christmas. I know you were there sitting around that table with us, smiling because you had everybody here in your favorite dwelling spot, surrounded  by tons of love.  I found that when you surround yourself with people who bring you joy that its hard t feel like you should be sad. I am so grateful for all of your friends (now our friends) who take the time to remember us. Who leave me random messages and check in with me to let me know they are doing okay. I appreciate even more though the trust they place in me when their hearts and minds are fragile and they reach out to me because they just need someone to listen and encourage them to keep going. Some of your friends come over just for hugs! I love that!

Your dads been talking about moving to a newer home that wouldn't require as much upkeep. I'm not a fan of the idea because we have so many memories of you growing up here, but I know we can take those memories with us where ever we go and that your spirit will come with us too if we ever make the move. Alyssa cried when she heard he wanted to move. I promised that we would stay here until they graduate from school so she and Ashten can keep coming over during the week to hang out. Alyssa keeps eating all the empanadas so its kind of like you are still here! 

While I don't think any of us will ever get over the sad days, we will get through them. I know we will because you will always be there to help us my little hummingbird (that hummingbird reference will have to be a whole blog post of its own! Your dad thinks I'm the crazy bird lady, but I don't care because it brings me joy) 

Well Stinkerbell... Give Walnut, Nana, Robin, grandpa Jack & George,grandma Helen, grandma Lola, my friend Robbie, Aliah, and baby J'Lynn a hug for me. I will always love you with all my heart. I know 6 months is nothing compared to the years we have left until we are no longer separated, but I'm going to try and just take one breath and one day at a time until I see you again. Thank you for the strength you give us to carry on. I love you baby girl. Forever and ever, to the moon and back, billions and billions Carl Sagan Gee Paw. 

Love mama

Investing in You

Today I finally worked up the courage to close out Amanda's bank account. It was getting hard to get those monthly reminders that I had yet one more thing left to do. 

Something you need to know about Amanda is that she LOVED having a bank account because she LOVED money. She was so excited that Bank of America would allow her to have a debit card connected to her account at 14, instead of having to wait until she was 16. She has the Judd's to help thank for her ability to qualify. They would have her come out to Utah each summer and she would work for them selling anything that glows at special events, truck rallies, and fairs. She also babysat their boys on the days that Mandy J. would work part time. She made quite a bit of money during those summers, and while she did her best to spend most of it buying new clothes, she also came home with a few hundred dollars each time to put in the bank. The day she and I went to open her account, she explained to the bank officer that she was good at saving money during the summer and wanted a safe place to keep it. The bank officer smiled at the confident young lady in front of her and agreed to wave the age limit. From that day on, anytime Amanda had a few extra dollars in her pocket, she would ask if we could go to the bank so she could put it in her account. If the ATM would have accepted change, that would have gone in there too. Every time we would go to the bank she would count out her money, including her change, and then ask me if I wanted to add some to her fund. Before getting out of the car, she would say, "I'll give you my .63 cents (or whatever change she had dangling in her pocket) if you give me a dollar." I would always laugh and give her the dollar, even though I always let her keep her change. 

So, as you can imagine, today's task was not an easy one for me. Pulling Amanda's death certificate out of my hope chest where some of my dreams stay tucked away was difficult. Explaining why I needed to close the account and filling out the forms was hard too. But more than anything, I felt like I was closing out a part of her and I just didn't want to do that. I've given a lot of thought as to what I would do with the amount that was in Mandy's account. It really wasn't much because this summer she didn't go to Utah like she usually does, so her funds were running low. Still... I had to ask myself, "Do I give it to her sisters or buy one of her friends something?" I kept thinking about what she would want me to do. Then, as the bank teller was handing me over her money, a total of $26.80, it hit me. 

I collected her money and started across the street to Citibank, where we opened Amanda's non-profit foundation account (AKA Amanda Panda Foundation). As I was walking across the street, I heard Mandy's smiling voice in my head teasing me saying "Mom, I'll give you my .80 cents if you give me a dollar to make it even." So that's what I did. I spotted her the dollar and put the money in the ATM, just like she would have done. Yes... it was hard, but I realized her interests have changed too and though I closed out the old account, I helped her invest in something even more important. Saving lives. Together... we are investing in each of you. Know that you are all loved beyond measure. 

Live wisely... and always Choose The Right. 

http://www.facebook.com/AKAChooseTheRight

The Song of the Hummingbird

The week before Amanda left us, she and I spent quite a bit of time together in the backyard in our new recliner lounge chairs. I would read and she would text. I liked having her lay next to me. Even if we weren't always talking, I felt connected to her. It made me happy knowing she would actually WANT to hang out with me. Over the past few months I've found myself trying to take a moment to sit quietly each day and listen to the sounds around me and take in the beauty of my surroundings. It's my personal time to think about my life and feel connected to our Heavenly Father and, through that connection, I feel closer to Amanda. My favorite place to take these quiet moments is in my backyard where the trees sway with each gentle breeze and the worries of each day seem to melt away from me.  It may seem strange to some, but I swear I can feel Amanda sitting in the chair right next to me. I keep wishing I'll look over and see her texting like everything was back to normal.

I noticed a few days after Amanda passed that there were a couple hummingbirds that would come visit out backyard to suck the sweet nectar out of our flowers. There is something about a hummingbird that brings my heart so much joy. Perhaps it's because they come fluttering so quickly in and out of our lives. They make a humming or buzzing noise when they are near by. Sometimes I can see them and sometimes I can only hear them. 

Did you know Hummingbirds are always on the verge of starvation and because they have such a high metabolism, they come close to dying every night? When they wake in the morning it takes them almost a half hour to come out of their groggy state where they then rush to find life sustaining nectar and food. Do these characteristics sound like anyone else you know?  This was Amanda every day! Always humming. Always finding joy and making hearts smile. Always telling me that she was starving and in need of tacos :)

Her sweet spirit still surrounds me. It lifts me up with a gentle constant hum. I'm so grateful for the sweet hummingbirds that sing their songs to my souls and remind me of her and how much I am loved.

Connections

Well love, it's been a couple weeks since I've written for you. I can't begin to express how much I miss you. How I wish I could turn back time and take away the hurt you felt that day so our world could be happy again. Dad and I drove to Utah last weekend to visit with the Melton's because Jeff's health has been deteriorating. Jeff was able to stay up for nearly three hours to visit with us and he even sang us a special song that he wrote for you as if it was coming from me. 

Jeff wanted to know if there was a message he could give to you. Your dad and i took turns sharing our thoughts with him. I gave Jeff the biggest hug I want him to give to you. It was long, full of love, and both of us were crying. I told him to tell you I love you and I miss you and I'm sorry if I didn't hear something you were trying to tell me. I asked him to give Aliah a hug from her mom, Camille, and her sister, Lauren too and to give a kiss to baby J'Lynn for Alicia and her grandma, your Aunt Kim. Of course we stayed with the Judd's while we were in Utah. It is evident that everyone thinks of you often. Nathan, Mandy, and I were having a conversation and by the end we were all tearing up a bit. Sometimes I have to really fight to hold back my tears and it is comforting when I'm with someone who is okay if a few teardrops fall. Most of the time I save my tears for my car rides to and from work though. It's like my safe zone. I have to tell you though, the makers of my "waterproof" eyeliner failed to consider the strength of a grieving mothers tears! 

Camille and I have become friends and Facebook pen pals, bonded by similar circumstances. Her daughter Aliah left them at the age of fourteen, a little over a year ago. I know neither of you thought your actions through and never intended for your actions to be this final. I'm so sorry for the hurt and helplessness that you felt in that very moment that led you to such a desperate action. I get this feeling that you and Aliah have come together, just as we have been connected with her family. We are all bonded to each other now. We are family.  It's nice to be able to share my feelings with someone who understands the loss I feel. The way the memories of that dreadful day can try and steal away the beautiful memories of a lifetime. Aliah's sister Lauren was so brave. One day she took a moment to reach out to me to share their story and from that very moment, I felt like you and Aliah were helping our paths intertwine. Lauren even reached out to your sister, Lauren and they were able to share things with each other that others might not understand. One day I went to the cemetery to sit with you and there were two birds that kept flying over my head. With each fly over they would let out a scream. I really felt like that was you and Aliah telling me you had found one another. I laughed out loud and said, "Are you trying to tell me you found each other?" and those darn birds came and screamed at me again. That really made me smile, because it almost sounded like one of those crazy noises you would make when you were being silly. Then Aliah's mom, Camille experienced a dream where she saw you two together. Camille just joined Facebook and she and I have become so close through just a few messages. I feel like I can tell her anything and we are able to lift each other up on those difficult days.

I know the Lord knows that we will have difficult days ahead, to say the very least, and he has placed people in our lives with your help who will support us in those times, just as we will be here to support them when they need someone to help carry them through. Amanda - your friends have become our family. There are days when our house seems so quiet without you here and one or two of them will randomly show up to do homework or just hang out. They fill our home with your memories and laughter. I know that they come here when they are feeling down to be comforted by your sweet spirit that remains, but I don't know if they realize how much we are comforted by their presence too. 

We continue to spread your Choose the Right message through your pledge wall. Together, with the help of your friends, we have distributed almost 3000 wristbands. One of your friends was wearing your wristband on the bus and a man asked her what CTR meant. She explained it to him and he immediately went on to Facebook to learn more about it. As she explained it so eloquently, "It's like a trickle effect. One person wears a wristband and shares the message with someone else. That person is so moved that they vow to take the pledge as well. That means another life can be saved and everyone wearing a wristband is connected by your message and the pledge to live wisely and always choose the right. You are changing lives every day, even from beyond the veil. Thank you for helping us make these connections my love. I know that you and Aliah are watching over us. I am so very proud to be your mom. I love you stinkerbell. 

- mama panda's mama

Dreams

It funny how the mind protects people in their most fragile states, turning off pieces of memories for a time. Perhaps it is so our minds can simply rest from all of the 'what if's' allowing time to heal. We've talked about that as a family... it seems we've all stopped dreaming since Amanda's passing. Or at least, none of us can recall our dreams. But I think that is the Lords way of saying, "Be gentle and patient. She has work to do here. When she is ready AND when YOU are ready, she will come to you. Rest now. Be still and know that I am with her and I am here for you."

I had one night when I was starting to fall asleep when I could almost feel her cuddled in my arms and smell the sweetness of her clean wet hair. I breathed her in as if she was truly there. I could feel our breaths move together, one breath in for each breath out. I know it was just me, but in that state of near sleep, it felt so real to me and I just treasured that moment. It hurts sometimes because I want to see Amanda so desperately and I feel like all of my memories come from pictures around my house. I don't want to remember her through snapshots, I want to know and feel her in each moment. 

I've missed dreaming. Sometimes her friends write about how Amanda came to them in a dream and it makes me smile because it's like she is going to the people who needed it the most. She is handling the most fragile first. I feel like she has never left us, at least in spirit, but still... I want her to come to me too. 

Last night I slept without any dream recollection, then woke up for a bit and fell back asleep. In my second round of sleep early this morning, I got my wish. A dream with Amanda in it... at last :)

It started off a little strange and irritating. I remember there was an odor coming from the side of our house that smelled a little like dog pee. When I went to the side of the house, I found a doorway that led to a very long hallway that was connected to our house. Down that hallway were little pee puddles and near the end of that long hall was Spike, Amanda's chihuahua, lifting his leg on the wall, leaving a trail that led me straight to a room. When I opened the door to the room, Spike ran inside. Inside the room was a bed like Amanda's and a big white fluffy down comforter just like she had. I was looking around the room and then looked at the bed when I saw the comforter move. Amanda was under the covers. She looked out at me and smiled and said "Hi mama". I looked down at her and said "Hi sweetie. I've missed you. What are you doing in this room?" She climbed out from under the fluffy comforter and said, "I'm helping some other kids cross to the other side. See... here comes one now." Then a little child appeared and she went to the wall, which appeared very thin, like a white sheet, and she led the child through the wall saying "It's okay... go to Him." Then she climbed back under the comforter and pulled it up to her chin and said, "I love you mama." I said "I love you too baby", then I walked out of the room to find a Swiffer to clean up the pee puddles leaving Amanda to do her job.

Figures... I would finally have a dream with Amanda in it and all I can think about is cleaning up the pee puddles! I thought about that dream a lot today though and found great peace in it. It assured me that she is okay. She still loves and knows us and that she is doing her job to help others cross the veil to be with their Heavenly Father. It tells me that the veil is thin and she is still very close to us... as close as crossing over a hallway to another room. It also reminded me that Spike thinks he owns that little girl, but sometimes his possessiveness can come in handy. I know I won't be blessed with dreams every day, but I will learn to cherish each one I am given, just as I've learned to find the beauty in this loss of ours. It may be a while before I see Amanda again in the spirit world, until then, I will keep her in my dreams.

Measuring Your Absence

How do we measure your absence my love?
In breaths, moments, months, weeks, days, or hours?
Shall we number the tears that have burned our cheeks,
Or the petals that have fallen off the summers flowers?
Do we count each memory shared with another,
Or the hugs that were given in your name?
So many comments left on your Facebook wall,
Reminding us that we are not alone in our pain

Last night as I lay next to your sister,
The moon crawling towards the morning sun,
I swear I felt you cuddled tightly in my arms,
I could almost feel you breathing... only our breaths were one.
Do we measure your absence in dreams my love?
If so, you've only been gone from me for a day.
Do we go by the number of Wednesdays gone by?
There have been four since you went away.

Do we use the number of sympathy cards received,
And the hearts that have been touched near and far?
Or do we count the times we lost it, together and individually,
By your headstone, in the shower, alone in bed, or the car.
Shall I count each time I used your shampoo to smell you near.
Each picture stared at, touched, and lightly kissed.
I wonder if any of the things we do here now,
Can truly measure the depth of how much you're missed.

Perhaps we should measure our time without you,
By the prayers we have given on bended knee.
Or all the pleas asking why you left us so soon.
Requests sent to heaven to keep your spirit close to me.
Does it really matter that it is the 11th of the month?
All these reminders that we are now physically apart.
No... I will not measure your absence, my love,
Instead I will carry your life's song forever in my heart.

Amanda's Memorial Service 7-18-2012

We have been asked by many if we could share the comments given at Amanda's memorial service for those that weren't able to attend and those that just want to remember the beautiful spirit that was felt there. We are fortunate that a dear friend made a voice recording of her service so I have transcribed it here and will eventually get that transferred here as well. 

As always, we appreciate your support.  Thank you for loving us through our loss. We are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love from the over 1000 people that attended her memorial service and that continue to be part of our lives.  May you remember Amanda for the beauty she shared. How she loved and was loved by all. Remember her message... Live wisely. Love deeply. Laugh often. Cherish life and always, always... Choose the Right.

Amanda Andrews  - Eulogy  Given by Walter Steimle
As a friend I also search my heart and think what could I have done to make a difference to change the circumstances?  I realize accidents can happen, things don’t go as we expect.  Yet we here may still agonize over the question, “what if?”  For me relief from that agonizing question has come through Jesus Christ who suffered all things that we might not suffer.  And I trust the same is true for Amanda Andrews.  

We just sang “Each Life That touches Ours for Good” which was chosen by Amanda’s family, let me pick out some lines that particularly apply to Mandy.

“Each life that touches ours for good…
What greater gift doest thou bestow, what greater goodness can we know
Than Christ-like friends, whose gentle ways... Strengthen our faith, enrich our days
When such a friend from us departs, we hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory, Bringing us nearer, Lord to thee.   

Amanda Kellie Andrews was known by many names, Mandy, Stinkerbell, Amanda Panda, Mandykins, and Amanda McGregor. Knowing Mandy, I like the name Jesus Christ used for a young girl such as her – damsel. But what we do know about Amanda was that she was born a princess, lived as a princess, and died a princess returning to her Heavenly Father, the king.     So who would have greeted the return of this princess, Grandma’s and Grandpa’s have preceded her into the next life and perhaps were there as family; but one of her most beloved caregivers was Walnut, her Anatolian shepard. Walnut the family pooch watched over her and loved her until the day he died.  She knew he loved her not only because of what he did, but he said so – he was somewhat famous for saying “ wi wuv wu.” He did that truly. And Mandy loved animals in return.  Spike, her little Chihuahua misses her terribly.  He always slept with her in bed hugged to the point of almost being unable to breath at times.  The thought was that if Mandy did not end up as a border agent or some security law enforcement, she would be a veterinarian   Her love of animals extended to all kinds except black widow spiders and mice.  Black widows and mice were banned, but all other insects and creatures were to be cared for.   Of course some of those creatures right up there with Spike and Walnut were her family and friends.  Mandy was the “glue” in her family.  She tied Rich and his daughter Breanna to Kristen and her daughter Lauren in a way no other could for she was a blood sister and daughter to all.  One thing I didn’t need to be told is that Amanda was a Daddy’s girl though more so of late she worked her magic on her mother, because Rich isn’t the fan of clothes shopping that Kristen is.  And Amanda being the fashionista that she was, was a great help to Mom and sister alike in avoiding fashion disasters.  Sophie, Amanda’s friend said that Amanda could take Sophie’s old cast off’s and make them look better on her then Sophie could with the new stuff.  This is the kind of sister you love to have around and I’ve heard Amanda, Lauren, and Breanna have been compared to the Kardashians though I can’t imagine the famous trio has the true love for each other this trio of ours has. As I think about it, I think she had many more than two sisters. She loved her two sisters. They fought like sisters, they loved like sisters.She looked up to her sisters. And she had more than one mom and dad. Dean was a second father and Mandy Judd was a second mother and I'm sure there are many others out there who consider her as a daughter or a sister.

Now Mandy was a people person and she was a loyal and devoted friend.  She loved the local Fiesta Carnival, just don’t eat before the rides she warned.  She loved the Monrovia street fair with friends.  She didn’t just love fries, she loved smiley face fries shared with friends, and chili fries too.  She loved food, which was hard for me to believe as petite as she was.  She was known to call her Mom even when she was working in Georgia when she was hungry.  Flaming hot Cheetos, dirt cups, In-n-out, cup of noodles were standard fare.  She liked people to put coins in the soda vending machine in her garage because she could keep the money. She loved to take pictures and she had an eye for beauty in this world. She was a mediator, a peacemaker who often seemed to end up in trouble herself.  So often she was there to make people smile, because she cared and was devoted just like Spike and Walnut.  Often I only saw the stoic side of her, the tough side, not a lot of emotion.  But she was her parents girl and carried some of their best traits inside her.  One of those traits was setting people straight when they went wrong.  She wanted to always set things right.  She was a hard worker and a good little business woman.  She didn’t mess around when it came to business.  But the business of going to school was not really her thing. She didn’t like school though I suppose friends made it somewhat bearable.  She liked being 10 minutes late to first period because then everyone had a friendly hello for her.  Of course being late for school wasn't quite the same as being late for early morning seminary, which wasn’t nearly as nice as skipping it all together and the same went for early Sunday church.  That is something she’ll probably have to work on in the next life where she is now – but she will have Walnut’s help.  

So for many of you that have known Amanda well, and for the many who now know her a little better now; what will be her legacy, what difference will this all make?  I think that if she were here she would say Be Smarter, CTR – Choose the Right and don’t make the same mistake I did.  She might also say be beautiful, be a friend, eat more smiley face fries, hug Spike for me, and give me a hug.  In return you can be sure she would give you a hug, and if you are lucky a cheek squeeze.  So be smart. C.T.R - Choose the Right so that someday many years hence in the next life she will thank you for letting her make a difference for the better in your life. I testify that Amanda Andrews lives and not just in our hearts. But she lives. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Song: He'll Carry You

Father's Comments: by Richard Andrews   
Good morning brothers and sisters. My family and I are humbled at the turn out today. We are humbled by the kind words, the support and loving arms from those who have expressed their condolences to us. I am humbled by those of you who have traveled far from the East coast, central plains, and southern states. That is the impact that Amanda had on your lives. When we delivered the news to friends, there was no hesitation from friends that lived far who came. 

As a father helping raising three girls it is my duty to lay the spiritual foundation in our home that will carry our children throughout their lives.  Success  is only known as our children mature into adults and start making their own life choices.  Shortly after Amanda's passing I struggled with the question.  Had we done enough? Had I given her the spiritual armor she needed, not only to get her through this mortal existence,  but to get her through the next?  The question gnawed at me and I resided to, at least under this life time, that I may never know the answer.    A day  after her passing my wife and I got the answer.  We were surprised to find that Amanda had started a blog last year. Although she only had only a few entries, one stood out and gave us some spiritual insight on Mandy.   

She wrote:     

Saturday started off great, but its crazy how a good night can turn into a bad one based of dumb decisions, that's just the way it goes  live and let learn . Brush it off, Have no fear. Even if I'm grounded at the moment and don't have my phone i'll get through it. There would be no learnin' now if everyone followed the rules and never went a couple steps off their road . 

But anywhoooo, Saturday... it was good minus all the late night yelling from my parents. It was good, went to the fiesta again. Aha... Tried my first cumquat it was pretty scrumptious. Went swimming with some friends, jumped on a trampoline for a little, and looked at the stars. Sooo cliche.   

Sunday, now its Sunday... Sundays will never ever be my day. Wake me up at 9:00 in the morning to go to church and look out. You are guaranteed to have one of the grumpiest, meanest, back talking teenagers in the LDS building. Yeah thats right, if you didn't know, I'm Mormon.  LDS isn't the actual name of the church its just shortened so we dont have to say "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints".  So if you're looking for a couple inspirational, personal, well-planned talks and some of the worlds GREATEST deserts, foods and some pretty nice people, you found the right place. And well if you didn't get the hint I'm in trouble right now and the one day I kinda payed attention in church they just happen to be singing a song called "Choose the Right" and the first line of the song is "Choose the right when a choice is placed before you". If only that song could pop into my head whenever I'm about to make some dumb decisions.   She also writes, and I think this was intended for her parents - another verse she learned in class:   But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. She continues... it's crazy how some of the littlest words and quotes can change my perspective on things.  Well... leaving you with that, I'm off... gonna go enjoy my grounding that I am blessed to have on this four day weekend . (That was definitely scarcasm for those of you who dont understand me) GREAT -_______-  . . . Maybe i can convince my parents to take a little family trip to City Walk (:   

And she did.   

Occasionally I would have the opportunity to drop Amanda off at school or at a friends house or public area. I would always leave her with these three letters. CTR.  Short for three simple words. "Choose the Right".  Some days I would forget to say them, Amanda would turn to me as she exited the car and say "Well, aren't you forgetting something"?  She was a constant reminder to her friends and family to always be good. She didn't tolerate back talking... except when it's to her own parents. To those young men and young women who are here today to honor Amanda... Remember these three simple words. Carry them throughout everyday of your existence, when confronted with the pressures of being a teenager repeat them or ask yourself what would Jesus want me to do?   To my family I turn and say, Amanda was received from Gods hands to ours and from our hands we deliver her back to him. Amanda has set the bar high for us. Our family was sealed in the temple together for time and all eternity. The Lord promises that if we live worthily we will be reunited as a family.  So did we do it right?  I am proud to say YES WE DID! We raised a valiant young spirit.  

As her family and friends know all to well, Amanda was never known for keeping her room clean. As parents, we choose our battles wisely but when the mess would make its way out from her room to the dinning room, to the kitchen, hallway, living room and... well you get the point. I would come home and call out, "Amanda Kellie Andrews!" Mandy would stomp out of her room exclaiming, "Why are you calling me that name!?"  "Well that's your name." "No!" She would exclaim, "That's my angry name. You only call me that when I've done something wrong!" "Well Mandy the house is a mess." "Have i done something wrong?" No, I would say."  "Well then you need to find something else to call me when you want me to clean up." We would stand there staring at each other until one of us laughed.     Then I would ask,  "Mandy, can you please pick up your stuff?" She replied "sure." and then promptly turn around walk back into her room and shut the door.  She eventually cleaned up, but she would do it on her own terms.   

I would like to direct these next few comments to Amanda's friends and the multitude of youth who knew her, knew of her and have come here to pay their respects.  Amanda did not wake up last Wednesday with the intent on ending up here today.  What happened to Amanda that dreadful afternoon was that in a split second a choice was made. The consequence of that choice were unintended and permanent.  I know I may not look like it but at one time I was your age. I thought I was invincible, I looked at myself as Superman. Some of you may still see the resemblance. I remember a time shortly after the 210 fwy was completed, I was racing my friend on that near empty freeway from Covina to Tommie's burgers in Eagle Rock. At over 120 mph my friend starts to lose control of his vehicle. Luckily, he was able to regain Control and we safely made it to Tommie's. But I was struck by the reality of what nearly happened. A foolish choice made on that freeway almost led to some very dire consequences. I can go on with a myriad of these situations that both myself and other have experienced with some having tragic results. You are not super human. These vessels we call bodies are very fragile. You must protect them and keep them clean. If you were truly a friend of Amanda's you will honor her memory not by dwelling on this tragic incident, but by the example of her kind and indiscriminate nature.  No matter what your social circumstance, ethnicity, or popularity, Amanda was your friend. She was a defender of those who were picked on or bullied and she often got in trouble for stepping in the middle of a fight and trying to diffuse it.  Those were the school suspensions we were most proud of.  Be a friend to everyone, defend those that cannot defend themselves. Be kind. Find a way to make someone else smile.   I feel all of us are better people for having had the privilege to know her. As parents we are honored to have been given the opportunity to raise one of Heavenly Father's most choice daughters.  We will struggle to fill the chasm in our hearts created when she left us. But we know that we can turn to our father in heaven to help ease some of that burden. When Amanda was a baby we would sing her a church hymn called "Come, Come, Ye Saints".  Written by William Clayton in 1846 and this hymn was regarded as a 19th century anthem to Mormon pioneers and often sung by the saints on their journey west along the Mormon trail.  

The hymn reads:  

Come, come, ye saints, no toil nor labor fear; But with joy wend your way. Though hard to you this journey may appear, Grace shall be as your day. Tis better far for us to strive Our useless cares from us to drive; Do this, and joy your hearts will swell - All is well! All is well!   Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard? 'Tis not so; all is right. Why should we think to earn a great reward If we now shun the fight? Gird up your loins; fresh courage take. Our God will never us forsake; And soon we'll have this tale to tell- All is well! All is well!   We'll find the place which God for us prepared, Far away, in the West, Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid; There the saints, will be blessed. We'll make the air, with music ring, Shout praises to our God and King; Above the rest these words we'll tell - All is well! All is well!   And should we die before our journey's through, Happy day! All is well! We then are free from toil and sorrow, too; With the just we shall dwell! But if our lives are spared again, To see the Saints their rest obtain, Oh, how we'll make this chorus swell - All is well! All is well!   

This hymn would magically put Amanda to sleep within minutes. As a baby we would just hum it to her. It calmed her so much that if she heard It start to be sung, she would cry out "No... Not that song!" and then quickly fall asleep. Church missionaries and family friends would sing it to her just so they could watch her reaction. It was if she was hypnotized. Sleep would always ensue before the first verse was over. About a month ago, while  sitting in a recliner chair and Amanda climbed in my lap to cuddle. I started humming the song and within minutes her body relaxed and she had fallen asleep. Now, as the saints of old, Amanda too rest from her toils here on earth in the arms of her Heavenly Father. We would like to play this song for you with hopes that as with Amanda,  you to may find peace.  But don't go to sleep!   I leave you these words in Jesus  name. Amen

Song: Come, Come Ye Saints

The Plan of Salvation - Given by Michael Miller

I'm grateful to be here and the opportunity to speak to you today at this memorial service for Mandy Andrews. I'm grateful for your presence. Your presence here today is a wonderful expression of love to Mandy and her family. I'm grateful for the spirit that's, or Rich's words and everything that has been said. I pray that the spirit will be with us for a moment that I may provide a little direction and give some comfort for those of us who may be experiencing some questions about this life and the ever after. 

Allow me to start from the beginning... God is the father of our spirits. We are literally His children and he loved us. We lived with our father in heaven before we were born on this earth. We were not like our Heavenly Father, nor could we become like Him without the experience of living in mortality with a physical body. God's whole purpose, his work and his glory, is to enable each of us to enjoy all of his blessings. He provided a perfect plan to accomplish this purpose. In the scriptures, God's plan is called "The Merciful Plan",  "The Plan of Happiness", "The Plan of Redemption", and the "Plan of Salvation". The essence of the plan was that man would have to opportunity of working out his own salvation with God's help. In Job, it says that when we heard about this plan, we were so excited that we "shouted for joy". All of God's children who have lived, who are currently living, and will yet live on earth choose to follow this plan in our pre-mortal state. Jesus Christ is central to God's plan. Through his atonement, Jesus Christ fulfilled his fathers plan made it possible for each of us to enjoy immortality. He wants every one of his children to find peace in this life and a fullness of joy in his presence after this life. He wants us to become more like him. 

Under the direction of the Father, Jesus Christ created the earth as place for us to live and gain experience. In order to progress and become like God, each of us had to obtain a body and be tested during a time of probation on earth. While we are here on earth, we are out of God's presence. We do not remember our pre-earth life. We must walk by faith, rather than by sight. The triumph of Jesus Christ over spiritual death by his suffering and over his physical death by his resurrection, is called The Atonement. Christ promises to forgive our sins on the condition that we accept him by exercising faith in him, repenting, receiving baptism by immersion  and the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost, and striving faithfully to keep his commandments. Through continuing repentance, we may obtain forgiveness and be cleansed of our sins by the power  of the Holy Ghost. We are relieved of our guilt and shame and through Jesus Christ we become worthy to return to the presence of God. As we rely on the atonement of Jesus Christ, he can help us endure our trials, our sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ. And then our spirit leaves our body and goes to the spirit world, a place of preparation, learning, and resting from care and sorrow. Alma the prophet said, "Now, concerning the ^astate of the soul between ^bdeath and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are ^ctaken ^dhome to that God who gave them life." 

The spirit world is a wonderful place where you will be reunited with your family members who have passed away. As it has been said, Mandy is probably playing with Walnut now. I'm just wondering if he can say, "I love you" just a little better now or if he says it just the same. Her personality is the same. She still has her favorite colors, she still has her favorite songs, she still has that wonderful smile. In the spirit world, the gospel is preached to those who did not fully understand the gospel or  did not have the opportunity to hear it while here on earth. We our bodies and spirits are reunited in the resurrection we will be brought back to each other. When it is our time to stand before God, we do not stand alone. Can you imagine being all alone before God and pleading our case? Luckily we are appointed an advocate to stand with us. That advocate is Jesus Christ. The Savior pleads our case for mercy. He is the champion of our cause as no other can be. 

I'm going to read a little about the words of Christ as he was recorded, about the way and words he used when he pleads our case.  The Savior pleads for the spiritual lives of his spiritual children. Not because of their own worthiness, but because of the Savior's sacrifice, they will be spared. This is the Son's plea to the Father as recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants: 

“Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified; “Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life.”¹

Brother Mcallister, in his book The Infinite Atonement, mentions that there may be yet another reason for advocacy, particularly Christ's: It brings about the spiritual bonding through Christ and his children that could not be achieved in any other way. It is the thread that knits our hearts and souls together. Who among us could watch him plead our case with fervent passion, listen to him rehearse the grueling events of Gethsemane, hear his expressions of unbridled love, and not feel a spiritual kinship with him?

As a result of the Saviors Atonement an advocacy, at the judgement day, when the eternal fate of all hangs in the balance, the Savior will stand "betwixt them and justice"(Mosiah 15:9). He will make the "intercession for the children of men" (Mosiah 15:8) He will plead the perfect balance between mercy and justice. He will be Mandy's advocate. He will be our advocate and our hope and salvation. 

It is my testimony that Jesus is our personal savior and that through him we can find hope, joy, and peace. Christ himself said, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled. Neither let it be afraid." 

It is my prayer that we might be able to find this peace. Today and every day. I look forward to the time that we can all give Mandy a hug. And I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Song: Stay With Me by Michael McLean 

Closing Remarks - Given by Bishop James Stevenson
Brothers and sisters we have been taught the gospel here today through music and word. In closing, I would like to share with you, I've been asked by the family to read a poem written by Amanda's mother. It's entitled "Carry On, Carry On" - They gave it to me because they thought I could be emotional.

I can’t tell you how much I miss your laughter
And those teasing names that said you loved me too
You bugged me so much about cutting my hair
So it is short again just for you
I know I yelled because you would take my clothes,
But if you were here now they would all be yours
I would give up anything... Do anything
To have you here with me once more

Don’t cry Lauren,
I am not gone
Carry on sister,
Carry on, carry on 

When you were little I carried you every where
Until it drove you nuts and you'd push me away
The older we got the closer we became
I loved it when you would ask me to come stay
Remember how we wrote funny poems back and forth
And you said I smelled like moldy afghan goat cheese?
You always had the best sense of humor
Won't you come back to me please?

Don’t cry Breanna,
I am not gone
Carry on sister,
Carry on, carry on

Your friends and other family have been here sharing their memories with us
Eating smiley face fries on the roof in the sun
Jamming to your favorite "gangster" music each day
Going to the trail for a walk or run
Sleepovers and pillow fights, make-up, clothes, and boys
They share treasured secrets that bring us comfort and joy
Teachers and friends you haven't seen for awhile
Have all sent the most beautiful comments about you
You touched so many, many lives for good
We know you will live on in everything they do

Don’t cry loved ones,
I am not gone
Carry on friends,
Carry on, carry on

I've been so blessed to be your father
To have the Lord trust me with your care
I'll always cherish our road trips with the Judd's and Dean
Your cuddle chambers, chili fries requests, and bedtime prayers
Now when I think of you, I smile
Though my heart is aching from the pain
I go on because I know you would want me to
But living without you just isn’t the same
Desperately clinging to every memory of you
I think of how you touched our lives in so many ways
You visit me in my dreams at night
But I can never make you stay

Don’t cry daddy,
I am not gone
Carry on daddy,
Carry on, carry on

I sit in your empty room at night
Dreaming dreams that will never be.
Surrounded by all the things you loved,
For they bring you nearer to me.
I hug your pillow close to my heart,
Just a hint of perfume lingers from your shampoo.
I remember all the time we spent cuddling together.
Oh sweet girl, I will always love you.
I long for those precious moments again,
Yes, I know I’ll have them back in time
Until then I have my beautiful memories of you
And your skinny hugging arms wrapped around mine.

Don’t cry momma,
I am not gone
Carry on momma,
Carry on, carry on

I sit here by Heavenly Father’s side
Rubbing my hands through Walnuts soft fur
Jesus said He will watch over you now
And send you the spirit as a comforter
The angels sing me "Come, Come Ye Saints"
When I want to feel you near
And when you say your prayers at night
They always let me hear

So don’t cry family,
I am not gone
Carry on family,
Carry on, Carry on

We may be asking ourselves how do we carry on? I know that it is through our faith and our hope in Christ that he sends his spirit of peace to help us through these difficult times. I've seen that evident in the Andrew's home as I've been there and felt the spirit there and know that they've been comforted. I know that our savior is helping them carry on, but I want you to know that each of you is an influence and comfort to them as they struggle to make it through this time of sorrow and they are much appreciative of you and your prayers. I want you to know that that I have confidence, a strong faith, and hope of Christ. I have a testimony of the gospel. That I know that He lives and that through his atonement, and through his sacrifice for us we can make our way back to heavenly father. That is his great gift to us. He came to this earth to set an example for us. As we strive to live his commandments and to follow him, we will make our way back in to Heavenly Father's presence. I know that God lives. And that he is our heavenly father and Jesus Christ is his son, the savior of the world who atoned for our sins. And that through his resurrection, we all will be resurrected again. The end of our mortal life is not the end of our existence. We will carry on beyond the veil and progress. I pray that we will all feel comfort through the spirit of christ. That our pains will be eased as we continue to remember Amanda. As we remember her life and how she influenced us. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

We thank those who have participated in this service today. Those who spoke and those who have shared their talents. We will conclude these services by singing "God Be With You Until We Meet Again".

Song: God Be With You Till We Meet Again