The Song of the Hummingbird

The week before Amanda left us, she and I spent quite a bit of time together in the backyard in our new recliner lounge chairs. I would read and she would text. I liked having her lay next to me. Even if we weren't always talking, I felt connected to her. It made me happy knowing she would actually WANT to hang out with me. Over the past few months I've found myself trying to take a moment to sit quietly each day and listen to the sounds around me and take in the beauty of my surroundings. It's my personal time to think about my life and feel connected to our Heavenly Father and, through that connection, I feel closer to Amanda. My favorite place to take these quiet moments is in my backyard where the trees sway with each gentle breeze and the worries of each day seem to melt away from me.  It may seem strange to some, but I swear I can feel Amanda sitting in the chair right next to me. I keep wishing I'll look over and see her texting like everything was back to normal.

I noticed a few days after Amanda passed that there were a couple hummingbirds that would come visit out backyard to suck the sweet nectar out of our flowers. There is something about a hummingbird that brings my heart so much joy. Perhaps it's because they come fluttering so quickly in and out of our lives. They make a humming or buzzing noise when they are near by. Sometimes I can see them and sometimes I can only hear them. 

Did you know Hummingbirds are always on the verge of starvation and because they have such a high metabolism, they come close to dying every night? When they wake in the morning it takes them almost a half hour to come out of their groggy state where they then rush to find life sustaining nectar and food. Do these characteristics sound like anyone else you know?  This was Amanda every day! Always humming. Always finding joy and making hearts smile. Always telling me that she was starving and in need of tacos :)

Her sweet spirit still surrounds me. It lifts me up with a gentle constant hum. I'm so grateful for the sweet hummingbirds that sing their songs to my souls and remind me of her and how much I am loved.