Rob Dadasovich was one of my best friends in high school. We met in a world history class. Robbie sat in front of me and spent most of our class time trying to convince me that I should dump my boyfriend and go out with him. Caving in to the pressure and during one of those "breaks" that I had with my boyfriend, I agreed to go out with Rob to the movies. He took me on the most memorable date of my life. Honestly... that is no exaggeration.
The Date...
Rob came to pick me up, but realized he hadn't cashed his paycheck yet. So before we could go to the movies, we had to go to his house and borrow money from his stepdad. Ginny, his mom, gave him such a teasing for that! After borrowing money, we went to the movies and ran in to my boyfriends best friend, right at the moment that Robbie decided to try and hold my hand. Rob decided we needed to go somewhere to "talk" and drove us over to our high school baseball field. He conveniently had a blanket in his car, which he laid neatly over by second base (hoping to reach it most likely!). We laid there under the stars, staring up at the night sky in a city that seemed to small to hold our big dreams, and talked while he held my hand nervously. Right when we started to forget how rocky the night had started, the sprinklers came on sending us running towards the car. As we neared the parking lot, we saw the lights of a police car pulling up to his car, his bright search beam scanning the field for teenagers out past curfew. Like an old pro at evading the police, Rob pushed me under the bleachers where we hid until the cop gave up and drove away. You would think that he would have taken all of this as signs that we weren't meant to be together, but he remained steadfast and undeterred, bravely inviting himself in to my house to again "talk" for awhile. I have to admit, that his kiss caught me off guard. However, not quite as offguard as when my boyfriend showed up at my front door with Rob still sitting on my living room couch. We didn't date again after that, not that Rob didn't try though, he never really gave up the quest. We had an amazing connection, but I felt we were better off as friends. It crushed him I know, but I just couldn't get over one small issue. Robbie was an inexperienced kisser. I had been with my boyfriend for a while and had a little more practice. He used to beg me to "teach" him, but I couldn't get past the initial quick hard probbing that left me feeling like my tongue had been in a sparing match.
We didn't need the kisses to be close though. You know... I don't think my mom is aware that 23 years ago, after she left for work, every summer morning after Rob's waterpolo practice, he would come over to my house and crawl into bed with me and we would sleep. Embraced in each others arms. Me in my t-shirt and panties and him in his tighty whities. Shocking as it sounds, it was so innocent. There was no kissing or romantic privileges, just a quiet connection.
Even after high school, when many of our friends had drifted away, starting out on their new journey, we stayed connected. We spent time together, but nothing like those two summers of our Junior and Senior year. We graduated in 1985. We saw each other 2-3 times a week. He gave up on having me as his girlfriend and met a sweet girl who he started dating. I worked for a Round Table Pizza restaurant and he would come by with his friends to say hi and try and get some free pizza. He came by two nights before the last time I would ever see him.
I remember the day my world changed forever so vividly. As I recall the moment, I can still feel the odd sensation that my chest was tightening - slowly breaking my heart into a million little pieces. The day started off as normal. I was rushing around my apartment trying to get ready for work when my younger sister stops by unannounced. She said she had something serious to talk about and asked me to sit down. My mind immediately raced to my mom who has had a few cancer scares. She tells me that our mother is fine. Then she said "Krissy, Robbie is gone. He died last night."
I stared at my sister with disbelief and heartache. I heard the words she was saying, but I couldn't understand them. Was she telling me that Rob was gone? I had just talked to him two days before, how could he be gone? She told me that Rob had gone fishing with our friend Randy and they decided to drive home late instead of camping out in their car. Rob was driving. Randy, who was drfting in and out of sleep, woke up for a brief moment to click his seatbelt on. Robbie didn't have his on. Rob fell asleep at the wheel and they slammed in to a telephone pole. Robbie died instantly on impact. Randy walked away with some broken ribs and scratches.
I just kept hearing the same words over and over, "Robbie's gone". I didn't know what to do. This was one of my dearest closest friends. I cried softly for a very brief moment and they I stood up and went to work. I think I went to work because I needed some normalcy. Something to keep me distracted from my own thoughts. My general manager, who was like a father figure to me, asked me to come over and sit with him. He knew something was wrong, but didn't know what. I did with him what I couldn't do with my little sister. I let me guard down and my tears fall.
Rob Dadasovich was a blond haired, blue-eyed water polo player. He was extremely proud of his letterman's jacket that he let me wear on cold days. His favorite music group was the Cars. He loved to sing to me "My best friend's girl friend" to remind me that I dated one of his friends and "All I Want Is You" - constantly trying to tell me that I was wrong for staying with my boyfriend and not choosing him. He wore sunglasses ALL the time and wore tighty whities. He taught me how to swim in the deap end of a pool. His family was religious and they even took me to church with them several times. Robbie struggled sometimes with depression, but I don't know if many people know that. We had long talks out in his car. Sometimes he would cry and I would cry with him. One time when he was talking crazy thoughts about suicide and that he didn't think there was really a God, I took him in to talk to my mom who had a life after death experience and had experienced the bright light and the feeling of peace... all that stuff. Then she told him that there was a God and that he loved Rob and that He knew we all struggled, but if we would let Him, God would be there for us. She told Robbie that his parents loved him and that I loved him. Life wouldn't be the same without him. I remember it all... standing in our kitchen. All three of us crying. I think it helped Robbie to know that there is life after death, but that we are all meant to experience life while we are in it.
He knows it now. I know he does. Rob is in a place where he can feel God's love around him all the time. Sometimes I feel like Rob is with me. The tears still fall because I miss him and wish I could have seen the amazing father and husband I know he would have become. But I know we will meet again. When we do, he'll probably be playing a Car's song like "Since You've Been Gone or Just What I Needed".
And just like my mom told him so many years ago... Life hasn't been the same without him.
13 comments:
I don't know you but I knew Robbie a bit, I tagged along after Ryan for years. My parents were close with the Dadasovich's. I always thought Robbie was the coolest guy in the whole world, I think the sunglasses had something to do with that. Just wanted you to know, I came across your blog and thought of Robbie too.
Nice to know I am not the only one who still thinks of him now and then. -Ryan
I didn't know him, just of him, but I remember the day at Davis when we all found out he died. I knew his brother Ryan and felt so heartbroken for him and his family. This is such a beautiful story about your special friend who left this world too early.
I do not know you but I knew Robbie from 2nd grade till 7th grade we were inseparable. Either I was at his house playing ping pong and ridding bikes or he was at mine swimming we spent almost every summer day together and most weekends as kids growing up in Modesto. We explored the whole town on our bikes even places we were not supposed to go. Some of my best memories growing were with Robbie just hanging out. In the eight grade I changed to public school and he stayed at Modesto christian. In the ninth grade we met up again at Davis and would spend a few afters hanging out after school a few times a week but it was never really the same as before. We grew farther apart and spent less time together I would like to say it was Robbie who changed but it was probably both of us and in the end when he died I had not spoken to him in 3 years. I went to his funeral and watched from the side lines as people who did not know him mourned his passing. I have heard many rumors over the years about the accident that took Robbie's life, I do not know if they are true or not and in the end it truly doesn't matter. Deep down inside I hold a grudge against randy i do not know why but I just feel he was partly responsible for the death of a great part of my childhood. No matter what happened to our friendship in high school I still remember Robbie for the kindhearted kid he was growing up and still those times together
Please don't blame Randy. He was in absolutely no way responsible for Robbie's death. Neither my family nor I ever once considered otherwise although I imagine he must have carried an enormous burden of guilt from that time on. He was only 19 or so at the time, just a kid really. My brother made an error in judgement that cost him his life and almost cost someone else's as well. Let's leave it at that. -Ryan
I never knew Robbie, but knew premature family death, just like Robbie's brother Ryan. Ryan and I were a couple for several years in the early 90's. Ryan spoke of Robbie often enough so I could get a sense of who Robbie was in the world . . . but rare enough to keep Robbie's memory safe and special to Ryan. One thing I know for sure is Robbie was loved, and IS loved. Blame around Robbie's death was never a topic of discussion. Ryan had both amazing stories of Robbie's living years, and compassion for Robbie's tragic death. I remember one time Ryan said something to me like "It seems like people always put the deceased on a pedestal, and I don't want to do that with my brother...I want to remember him for the genuine greatness he was."
- Courtney
I haven't been on my blog for a while and never realized all the comments that were left behind. I think it goes to show that Robbie and Ryan were and are loved by many.
Ryan - I don't know if you remember me and it's okay if you don't. I have this memory of going to some place near some railroad tracks with Rob, you, and my younger sister Kathy. I can't remember why we went there, but heck, it was Modesto... railroad tracks were as common as the orchards we used to hang out in and the dark of the night. lol
I want you to know that your family was very special to me. Every time I hear a Car's song, I think of Robbie. I can picture his bright smile and those darn sunglasses that he never took off. He was genuine, kind, innocent, and loyal. As you said, he made an error in judgment. No one is to blame. Randy loved Rob as much as the rest of us.
Please tell your mom my thoughts are with her often. She may not remember me either, but if you tell her the first date story, that might ring a bell.
Sincerly - Kristen Andrews (Wyke)
The internet is amazing. I saw the name Dadasovich on FB and it made me think of Rob. I googled his name for the hell of it and this site came up.
Nice write up Kristen.
I met Rob in English class. We both had Croatian surnames so we kind of bonded on that. I remember giving him grief for his preppy clothes and we he would kid me about my concert shirts.
It's funny how I only knew him briefly, but think of him from time to time. He just had a soft, calm nature about him that I liked.
Rob was a good soul. RIP buddy.
I also knew Robbie and was introduced to him by a group of Davis High gals that I started to hang out with in 84-85. While I did not know him for too long, he was a really kind, sweet person. Not like many other guys his age. He was wise beyond his years and insightful with people. I think about him often. What he would have become because of who he was. Certainly a great husband and father. His parent and brother should be proud. RIP and it sounds like another loss, though I don't know the blogger. I hope you are listening to Cars songs and know how many people still keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
When my 16 year old daughter passed away last July, all I could think of is "I hope Robbie finds her so these two pieces of my soul can finally meet." I felt like someone really important to me would be there to help receive her. It meant a lot to me and still brings me a little piece of mind.
Does anyone know where he is buried? I'd like to visit when in town.
I would have sworn he was at Lakewood in Hughson, but their web site isn't helpful (unless you want to book a plot or look for employment opportunities). I haven't visited in years and years - I figured I'd take my kids there someday, but for them, it may be just a stone with a familiar name. Those of us who knew him might feel a little closer to him if you visit. I still have an empty place in my heart, and it has been over 30 years. I used to try to fill it by visiting his grave, but I never could.
-Ryan
He is in Lakewood in Hughson. I visit him when I visit my grandparents. It is hard to find each time I'm there. Not often since I moved away.
I miss Robb. I think there are many that thought of him as a best friend - or maybe an only friend. He was a great guy.
I will always remember when his parents were defrosting their freezer and we had a huge ice war. So much fun and so many memories. I still cry about his loss. I still remember his birthday every year... Almost a fool...
Jim
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