The Nana Letters - Foreward

My Grandmother has been my pen pal for quite some time. Our letters are changing though, changing as she has changed. I know it can be hard to look past the person Nana is now; Forgetful, bitter, depressed, lonely, and sad. But I know that's not who she is. She would have never chosen the life she lives at the age of 96. If she had her way, she would have been square dancing with Jack, the grandfather I knew. She really LOVED Jack and Jack really loved her. He had a grumpy teasing way about him. He loved to fart and then blame it on my nana or smack us with his newspaper as he walked by. Jack died over 20yrs ago. When he left, a piece of her heart went with him. That's when the CHANGE started.

Nana lived with a couple gentlemen after Jack's passing, and married one named Leonard (who she met by placing an add in a newspaper). He was a nice man, but he couldn't dance because it hurt his legs. His legs were eventually amputated and after a short time, Leonard passed away. This is when we started noticing the CHANGE even more. The tantrums, the confusion, the depression, the case of the nasties, these had all become part of the change. The change that took the sweet, feisty spirit of my grandmother and chased it away for good.

The dementia was and still is, the worst part. She doesn't remember the good stuff anymore and is often redundant in her letters, but every now and then, when I'm lucky, a moment of clarity strikes and she is like the nana we knew when we were young.

So... I was thinking that this would be a nice place to share some of her letters. YES... some of them are going to sound crazy and look like I can't type, but it is just because I want to keep the integrity of the letters as I received them, and I have to admit that she is a little "crazy" these days. But these letters are still part of our history. I will post them here to share. I'm going to write it just like she did - and she loves to right in her nursing shorthand. (Good thing I work with Dr.'s and nurses) So if it doesn't sound right, think of what I thought the first time I read them. I think the tone and content of her letters is dependent greatly upon the time of day she writes. Night hours are when the dementia is worse. She has a wonderful recollection of what happened 85 yrs ago, but could hide her own Easter eggs today and never find them. Sometimes she writes very happy letters describing her world that has gotten smaller. Cherish those. Sometimes she speaks mean and bitter things. Ignore those. That is not the woman we know that helped raise us as kids. For my sisters, my mother, my dad, my cousins, and anyone who reads this blog, my nana was, and still is, one of the most amazing women I have ever met. She has outlived 5 husbands, one I didn't even know about until about 5 years ago. She helped us become the independent people we are and in this afterlife, when her mind and body is perfected, I believe she will be there, with Jack, preparing the way for us, just as she has in this life.

The letters will be out of order, because I have kept them in different places and she doesn't like to date her letters. Some are postmarked, some are not, so bare with me. I will try and add a sidenote on ones that could use a little explanation. If you want to add a letter, you can email me at ldsklandrews@yahoo.com or mail it to me (email me for my address) and I'll post it here for all our family to share.