I've been thinking about an old friend of mine quite a bit lately. He seems to sneak in to my thoughts when I least expect it, etching his memory gently on my skin. The moist trail touches the corner of my lip, a salty but bitter reminder that his memory is all I have.
Rob Dadasovich was one of my best friends in high school. We met in a world history class. Robbie sat in front of me and spent most of our class time trying to convince me that I should dump my boyfriend and go out with him. Caving in to the pressure and during one of those "breaks" that I had with my boyfriend, I agreed to go out with Rob to the movies. He took me on the most memorable date of my life. Honestly... that is no exaggeration.
The Date...
Rob came to pick me up, but realized he hadn't cashed his paycheck yet. So before we could go to the movies, we had to go to his house and borrow money from his stepdad. Ginny, his mom, gave him such a teasing for that! After borrowing money, we went to the movies and ran in to my boyfriends best friend, right at the moment that Robbie decided to try and hold my hand. Rob decided we needed to go somewhere to "talk" and drove us over to our high school baseball field. He conveniently had a blanket in his car, which he laid neatly over by second base (hoping to reach it most likely!). We laid there under the stars, staring up at the night sky in a city that seemed to small to hold our big dreams, and talked while he held my hand nervously. Right when we started to forget how rocky the night had started, the sprinklers came on sending us running towards the car. As we neared the parking lot, we saw the lights of a police car pulling up to his car, his bright search beam scanning the field for teenagers out past curfew. Like an old pro at evading the police, Rob pushed me under the bleachers where we hid until the cop gave up and drove away. You would think that he would have taken all of this as signs that we weren't meant to be together, but he remained steadfast and undeterred, bravely inviting himself in to my house to again "talk" for awhile. I have to admit, that his kiss caught me off guard. However, not quite as offguard as when my boyfriend showed up at my front door with Rob still sitting on my living room couch. We didn't date again after that, not that Rob didn't try though, he never really gave up the quest. We had an amazing connection, but I felt we were better off as friends. It crushed him I know, but I just couldn't get over one small issue. Robbie was an inexperienced kisser. I had been with my boyfriend for a while and had a little more practice. He used to beg me to "teach" him, but I couldn't get past the initial quick hard probbing that left me feeling like my tongue had been in a sparing match.
We didn't need the kisses to be close though. You know... I don't think my mom is aware that 23 years ago, after she left for work, every summer morning after Rob's waterpolo practice, he would come over to my house and crawl into bed with me and we would sleep. Embraced in each others arms. Me in my t-shirt and panties and him in his tighty whities. Shocking as it sounds, it was so innocent. There was no kissing or romantic privileges, just a quiet connection.
Even after high school, when many of our friends had drifted away, starting out on their new journey, we stayed connected. We spent time together, but nothing like those two summers of our Junior and Senior year. We graduated in 1985. We saw each other 2-3 times a week. He gave up on having me as his girlfriend and met a sweet girl who he started dating. I worked for a Round Table Pizza restaurant and he would come by with his friends to say hi and try and get some free pizza. He came by two nights before the last time I would ever see him.
I remember the day my world changed forever so vividly. As I recall the moment, I can still feel the odd sensation that my chest was tightening - slowly breaking my heart into a million little pieces. The day started off as normal. I was rushing around my apartment trying to get ready for work when my younger sister stops by unannounced. She said she had something serious to talk about and asked me to sit down. My mind immediately raced to my mom who has had a few cancer scares. She tells me that our mother is fine. Then she said "Krissy, Robbie is gone. He died last night."
I stared at my sister with disbelief and heartache. I heard the words she was saying, but I couldn't understand them. Was she telling me that Rob was gone? I had just talked to him two days before, how could he be gone? She told me that Rob had gone fishing with our friend Randy and they decided to drive home late instead of camping out in their car. Rob was driving. Randy, who was drfting in and out of sleep, woke up for a brief moment to click his seatbelt on. Robbie didn't have his on. Rob fell asleep at the wheel and they slammed in to a telephone pole. Robbie died instantly on impact. Randy walked away with some broken ribs and scratches.
I just kept hearing the same words over and over, "Robbie's gone". I didn't know what to do. This was one of my dearest closest friends. I cried softly for a very brief moment and they I stood up and went to work. I think I went to work because I needed some normalcy. Something to keep me distracted from my own thoughts. My general manager, who was like a father figure to me, asked me to come over and sit with him. He knew something was wrong, but didn't know what. I did with him what I couldn't do with my little sister. I let me guard down and my tears fall.
Rob Dadasovich was a blond haired, blue-eyed water polo player. He was extremely proud of his letterman's jacket that he let me wear on cold days. His favorite music group was the Cars. He loved to sing to me "My best friend's girl friend" to remind me that I dated one of his friends and "All I Want Is You" - constantly trying to tell me that I was wrong for staying with my boyfriend and not choosing him. He wore sunglasses ALL the time and wore tighty whities. He taught me how to swim in the deap end of a pool. His family was religious and they even took me to church with them several times. Robbie struggled sometimes with depression, but I don't know if many people know that. We had long talks out in his car. Sometimes he would cry and I would cry with him. One time when he was talking crazy thoughts about suicide and that he didn't think there was really a God, I took him in to talk to my mom who had a life after death experience and had experienced the bright light and the feeling of peace... all that stuff. Then she told him that there was a God and that he loved Rob and that He knew we all struggled, but if we would let Him, God would be there for us. She told Robbie that his parents loved him and that I loved him. Life wouldn't be the same without him. I remember it all... standing in our kitchen. All three of us crying. I think it helped Robbie to know that there is life after death, but that we are all meant to experience life while we are in it.
He knows it now. I know he does. Rob is in a place where he can feel God's love around him all the time. Sometimes I feel like Rob is with me. The tears still fall because I miss him and wish I could have seen the amazing father and husband I know he would have become. But I know we will meet again. When we do, he'll probably be playing a Car's song like "Since You've Been Gone or Just What I Needed".
And just like my mom told him so many years ago... Life hasn't been the same without him.
