A Still Small Voice Within

 1996

I discovered you in my youth,
A boy in my confusing teenage years.
Raised by my mother when my father was killed, 
You brought comfort and dried my tears.
You wanted me to remember You always.
I promised you that I would.
But you were the last one I came to
When everything was going good.
Eventually I married and we drifted You and I.
We hardly conversed anymore.
My wife didn't like us talking so much.
She said that's what she was for. 
She didn't believe in you the way I did.
I guess we were just raised differently.
It was easier to let you remain silent,
Your still small voice within me.
My wife and I had a baby girl.
Oh how I wanted you two to meet.
I knew my daughter would love you too, 
But for my marriages sake, I didn't compete.
Things didn't work out for my wife and I.
It was a hard time for me to work through.
Calling on You again made it easier though.
Once again, I've come running back to you.
It took some time, but I married again. 
My new wife asked me about us.
I told her You were always there for me,
Someone we could both trust.
She wanted to know more about you,
Inviting You often into our home.
Each time You came, You left something behind.
You said we would never again feel alone. 
We joined your family of Latter-Day Saints.
Meeting often to reflect and rejoice.
Though none of us had seen your face,
Your beautiful spirit gave You a voice.
I can't tell you what peace it brings me,
To know we will never be apart again.
Never again shall I deny you Lord,
Or your still small voice within.

Why Did You Leave

I used to feel your comfort, Lord, as I read my scriptures each day.
I felt your Spirit abide in me, when I knelt by my bedside to pray.
In desperate times, when I called on you, guidance and faith you would send.
Giving me the strength I needed, so this broken heart could mend.
I felt you in my every hour, my soul never left alone to grieve.
But, now that my life is going so well, “Tell me Father, why did you leave?”
At first, I didn’t notice your absence, for the blessings you sent were so grand.
I thought you’d be pleased not to hear from me, calling on you to always lend a hand.
How relieved you must have been, I thought, that my needs were no longer so great.
Giving you the time you needed to focus on those whose prayers could not wait.
Now, as I listen for that still small voice of your spirit dwelling within me.
It seems I have to listen even harder. “Tell me Father, why did you leave?”
These thoughts go in and out of my mind, much more often that they used to.
Every time I’m feeling confused inside, my thoughts drift back to you.
I had drifted from Church awhile, so sure you would remember my name.
I longed to have you back in my life, wondering if it would be the same.
But I worried I wasn’t worthy enough to be a part of your fold once more.
How could I ever feel the love that you blessed me with before?
Could you really love me enough to grant my heart a reprieve?
This road I walk is so lonely now, “Tell me Father, why did you leave?”
Then one day I dusted off my scriptures and opened them up to read.
Peace and understanding held me, as your words filled my every need.
This is what my life was missing . . . the habit of your daily word.
To think I should carry on alone, was nothing but absurd.
Once again, I fall upon my knees, and ask my Father in prayer.
If only He will know my voice, I shall follow Him anywhere.
Then, I felt His arms around me and my heart did truly cleave.
I heard Him whisper, “Oh, my child, tell me, why did you leave?”